Day 50: A Moment of Weakness

I stood in the shower tonight and had a moment of weakness thinking, "All I need is a home pregnancy tests and the answer would be mine!"

I went back and forth on the pros and cons of an early test while I stood there. As much as I want to know, I am SO SCARED about the results that I am deathly afraid of testing. I made up my mind before I got out that I've waited this long and another 48 hours for the "official" results wouldn't hurt me.

I must admit even after making that decision, I got out of the shower, dried off and checked under the bathroom cupboard to see if I had any extra pregnancy tests left from previous cycles. Thankfully I don't.

48 hours more. I can hardly wait!

Day 48: Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

I am naturally a very impatient person and this week-long wait is killing me!! My emotions fluctuate from feeling very hopeful and optimistic to feeling domed and disappointed. Tears come easy and my mind is constantly wandering to my belly and what may or may not be growing inside of me. The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster and Saturday cannot come soon enough.

I am excited to hear the results. I am also so very scared. I know that whatever news we hear our lives will be forever changed. This IVF process has changed me and I know the result will forever impact me as well.

I so want it to be real. For all of our hard work and sacrifice to pay off. For the good news to be ours to share. For it to finally be my turn.

Day 46: 2 Left

We found out yesterday that they were able to freeze 2 of our embryos. From the 15 eggs retrieved 1 week ago, in the end we netted out with 3 healthy embryos. One in my belly and now two safely in storage. While I hope, pray, beg, plea that we won't need those extra ones, it does make me feel a bit better that they're in safe keeping.

It is hard to believe that this time next week we'll know the outcome of this journey...T-6 days.